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wrestling with god
prostrate
like christ just before the first easter
i sweat as he sits on top of me.
receive his weight
like something that longs
to be gilded…one-
mississippi, two-
mississippi, moist
breath against hungry ear.
i cannot let this end.
this deification is
pure unadulterated worship.
my moment
of conversion.
to see his body ripple
inches from my diluted
imagination, his
torso stomach groin
pass by my adoring eyes
and press down
on me,
offering his host.
he instantly crucifies
me, hands against
wrists, knees shoulder-
pinned. we pant
and everything
stops.
his eyes reject
mine, do not let me
look where i want to look,
his soul, instead, on reserve.
our chests rise,
collapse in unison. my breath
picks up over here, his lips
part over there, a whisper, lost:
you are enjoying this too much.
we never reach the third count.
John Medeiros (website) is a writer living in Minneapolis, Minnesota. His work has appeared in several books and journals, including Sport Literate, Water~Stone Review, Gulf Coast, Talking Stick, Willow Springs, Other Words: A Writer’s Reader, Gents, Badboys and Barbarians, Evergreen Chronicles, Second Run, Hot Metal Press, Big Toe Review, Swell and Christopher Street. Upcoming work will be featured in Second Run and Text Wrestling, a college textbook for reading comprehension courses. He is the curator of Queer Voices: A GLBT Reading Series, a reading series for queer writers sponsored by Intermedia Arts and Hamline University.
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