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Naming the Flowers

September 29, 2009

by Ron Czerwien

Mother’s Affliction
Inflamed Iris
Lady Sliver
Cemetery Skin
Prickly Bitch
Wad-of-Red-Cellophane
Queen Anne’s Head
Dab-of-pus
Fuckin-thorn
Deadly Lampshade
Bachelor’s Buttocks
Vining-Back-Hair
Whimpering Pansy
Face-down-in-the-muck
Lone Gunman
Flowering Chest Wound
Hateful Neighbor
Jack-in-the-forehead
House-in-flames
Swan Parts
Angel’s “Trumpet”
Touch-me-here
Bloody Ha Ha
Silver Phlegm
Purple Discharge
Sweet Tumor
Wild Corpse
Annual Contagion
Baby’s Claw
Dainty Hemorrhage
Everlasting-facial-tick
Surgical Mishap
Stitched Eye Sack
Mucus Cups
Tainted Tongue
Creepy Jennie
Broom-rape
Black-eyed Mistress
Yew Prick
Joe Pie

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Ron Czerwien is the owner of Avol’s, a used and out-of-print bookstore in Madison, Wisconsin. His poems have appeared online in Moria, Shampoo, nth position, and other journals. The questions most frequently asked by his customers can be found here.

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  1. Peg Duthie
    September 29, 2009 at 11:00 am

    Coincidentally, Nashville’s Music Garden is having its opening ceremony this morning (within minutes of me typing this) – yesterday, the paper published a list of the rose and daylily names (many after songs and musicians, and one called “Dolly’s Lipstick.” Which makes reading through your list all the more sharp and entertaining.

  2. Merry Speece
    September 29, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    Hilarious! Thanks!

  3. Nathan Horowitz
    September 30, 2009 at 5:57 am

    Love it. Vivid, original, and easy on the brain.

  4. October 1, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    The more giggles the more you read it. Hard to decide a favourite, but ‘Bachelor’s Buttocks’ is pretty good!

  5. October 5, 2009 at 6:56 pm

    Very fine and sure.

    –Everlasting-facial-tic

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