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In the Light of His Millions of Stars

November 27, 2006

As I grew up in the San Francisco Bay area, not knowing there was a God didn’t bother me. And it wasn’t until I moved to Aspen with my two-year-old daughter that I realized no one on this earth really knew me – the inside me, the lonely one, the betrayed, abused, hurting one.

A little past midnight on a clear winter night, I walked out of town far enough that I couldn’t see any lights or hear the noise. I wanted to be alone to cry my bottled up tears. Was there a God?

It was hard to find darkness because the millions of stars overhead lit the night so brightly that I could walk in their shine. I saw a rose growing at the side of the road – through the snow, in the middle of winter. The aspen trees had shed all but a few of their quaking, golden leaves which seemed to glow from within with flickering candlelight.

I wondered aloud: “God, how can this rose be alive in this cold, so late in the year? The aspen trees don’t worry about ‘who am I? where am I going? why am I here?’ They just plant their roots and grow. Same with the rose. Then why don’t I know why I am here, why I am alive? How come I can’t just grow and be Vicki?”

I cried. Then there were no tears left. I sat on a rock, shaking with the cold. Yet inside something changed and now I felt warm, at peace. I knew Jesus had heard me. He was taking me to my home in Him and He hasn’t abandoned me since.

Yes, I had turned away from Him after my divorce. For years I had tried not to think about Him. Still He didn’t leave me. He waited.

Now, almost forty years later, He is still with me and I want always to live in His presence.

People will sometimes say to me, “Oh, you’re religious.”

I say, “No – not religious, but I do have a living, loving relationship with God. I am a stone in the creek, rolling around against other stones, the water washing me, smoothing out my rough edges, making me fit where God knows I need to be.”

I thank God for that first encounter with Him in 1967. My life has never been the same.

by Vicki Foley Theriault

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  1. November 28, 2006 at 12:20 pm

    Anyone curious about roses blooming in the snow might want to check out Marja-Leena Rathje’s latest post, http://www.marja-leena-rathje.info/archives/winter_rose.php

  2. November 28, 2006 at 11:30 pm


  3. November 29, 2006 at 12:06 pm

    Thank you for this sincere, no frills, no folderol and no preaching account of your very moving experience, Vicki. It takes courage and humility to reveal it publically when the fashion of the day is to be cynical,dismissive and ironic. You are the rose blooming in the snow.

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