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Petey’s
July 22, 2006
The fog is lifting over the salt marsh behind Petey’s. The waitress sets down my carton of fish chowder along with a plastic spoon and two bags of oyster crackers. Blonde hair piled on her head and wearing a bright pink hoodie, she smiles and the lines around her eyes say lived-in and ‘welcome.’
She turns to the couple at the next table and they chat about someone they all know. Locals. The summer crowds are long gone. I empty the tiny paper square of pepper onto my chowder, wondering if my parents came here often.
by Leslee of Third House Journal
Categories: Short Shorts
Leslee
qarrtsiluni 
Great setup for that last, participial phrase!
As I am with so many of these shorts, I’m ready to hear more.
(o)
me too.
So many wonderful, telling details here, Leslee, in so few words. I love the paper square of pepper, and the fact that the chowder comes in a paper carton. I can almost smell the ocean.
I can clearly picture every detail in my mind! That last phrase leads to a LONG story, Leslee, a feeling of expectation, like waiting for the speaker to keep going,
Thanks, all. I took my lead from those whose “short shorts” were here before me – all left me wanting to know more.
Oh me too, Leslee… what they all said!
It’s funny, I always notice things about a piece once it’s published that I never saw while it was in preparation – or at least didn’t focus on. This morning, I’m savoring the musical qualities of lines like “The summer crowds are long gone. I empty the tiny paper square of pepper onto my chowder” – that’s pure poetry, Leslee!
I think that feeling of wanting more that others mention is something I look for in writing. Even a long novel should leave one feeling that way.
Thanks, Dave. Those lines felt the best when I wrote them. I should remember that, and the part about leaving something unsaid – I think there was a discussion about this elsewhere.
Oh, wonderful, wonderful! I adore that last line.
‘the lines around her eyes say ‘lived-in’ and welcome’ – very nice
i liked the retrospective feel of this poem – looking back to the time of our parents, i mean
I like it too. I like the way it works like some kind of snapshot that manages to be both external and internal. I also agree that the last line is great, but not in isolation, because it works how it works because of what came before.
Thank you for publishing this; a lovely work.