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Index of First Lies

June 30, 2006

In the beginning and bisimillahi, sing muse and through me tell the tale of the man of the Spear Danes named Gregory Samsa who awoke from the firing squad to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover that all happy families are alike and stately plump Buck Mulligan in his younger and more vulnerable years must be in want of a wife who for a long time went to sleep early at the best of times and worst of times.

by Teju Cole

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  1. June 30, 2006 at 7:38 pm

    Oh, I want to clap my hands and shout aloud! How funny! And also how cleverly done! Thank you.

  2. July 1, 2006 at 4:07 pm

    Genius. Hilarious and wry. Pastiche at its best.

  3. July 2, 2006 at 7:40 am

    Delicious. Both the idea and its execution.

  4. qB
    July 2, 2006 at 4:32 pm

    It is a truth universally acknowledged that you were in bed with your catamite when the idea arrived. Bravo!

  5. July 2, 2006 at 8:20 pm

    A great beginning for the summer edition! Please follow suit, qarrtsiluni readers!

    Another favorite first line, which I suspect Teju would also like, and which would qualify for summer shorts all by itself:

    “If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it.”

  6. July 3, 2006 at 9:12 am

    OK, Beth, I’ll bite: where’s that from?

  7. July 3, 2006 at 2:46 pm

    Catcher in the Rye.

  8. July 5, 2006 at 3:55 pm

    bismillah, remembrance of god – nice start

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